Every time I procrastinate (an art which I have perfected) and decide to write something, I have this déjà vu moment hit me like a strong gush of wind. Yes, the guilt has sunken in for a prolonged failed update YET AGAIN!
‘We don’t know what we got until we say goodbye’. Henceforth to prove the statement true I miss the southern state where i resided not too long ago. The weather is a definite winner. I miss the relaxed tiny town of Flor that was adorned in the una colors of purple and yellow with lion paws painted in the streets downtown to emphasis and also validate the presence of the university’s mighty mascot beyond a caged zoo. I miss the laid back serenity of the campus and its park like architecture, even the narrow streets and the old dilapidated houses that are tornado prone hold an undivided fascination of its own. Florence now reminds me of being an international student in a desolate town with limited activity to engage in and good friends for company. It might also prove to be my only consolation of my desire to visit Italy someday. Foremost it’s a place I called home from Jan 2007 untill May 2009. Although i changed a total of three apartment addresses from one neighborhood to another in the given time, the place remained unchanged, just the distance to and from college either expanded or shrunk in distance.
I remember coming back to Florn for my graduation after I made that temporary move to the city. As I closed into town I was swept by a surreal surge, it was the emotions of returning home, the same feeling I felt when the airplane wheels touched against the asphalt of the runway of Kathmandu airport while returning home for vacations during the boarding years. I guess I found a home away from home in a tiny town that is often times difficult to comprehend. I remember a very wise friend of mine enlisting to me what makes memories and time worthwhile, he said it’s not the place! People say it’s the place which is a make belief, “it’s what you make out of that place and the people you befriend in that given place”. Come to think of it, bloody idiot he’s often right.
While residing in the tiny town we were always looking to break free, explore big cities, be part of the pomp and drama of nightlife in a hip town. In short we dreamt of moving to a bigger buzzing city that had tall building light the skylight during the nights and obscure the visibility of the clear wide sky during the day. Who imagined change can be so painful that it makes you terribly miss the place you passionately despised once? Guess I DO, now. Hence I am the soul of a tiny kid entrapped in the body of a grown women who ought to make choices and decisions in life that are imperative but somehow always manages to fall short and makes it seem futile.
