I was rummaging through my bags and found journals from the past. Its almost hard to fathom these are sometimes really bad other times neat hand written papers with words that conveyed my state of mind in that particular moment in time. Its amazing how we can immortalize a moment/memory in writing when we take the plunge. Some of it was really just, how much I hated everything around and how miserable I felt. I think my miserable moments way outweighed all other moments. I still haven’t found an answer as to why we as humans are most inclined to penning down dark moments , at least for me it seems I shared most of my dark moments rather then the bright phase of it all.
For instance right now I am listening, watching U2 perform to an immense majestic crowd live in Rose bowl at Pasadena, California and simultaneously writing this. I just got a phone call from home and my mother is furious because she thinks ‘we’ kids (my brother and me) don’t care and never call, basically she wishes she had better kids like other children who call their parents and furnish them with information which do not encompass just their lives but also stories of children from the neighborhood who are spread across the world in different continents and different states. I don’t blame her because I admit I am not much of talker with my parents and I don’t reach out to them emotionally verbally but it does not mean I don’t care. I just leave it for me to figure out how they are doing rather then actually asking them, I know for certain I will mess up far too many times in life even in the future regarding the way I process or handle communication with the people I truly love and care.
This just has me thinking how screwed up things are and how I wished I was more responsible and terribly sensible. Life never ceases to amaze me, we never get what we want and never like what we got. Euphoria, I always fall short, in fact too distant.
I am just trying to find a decent melody a song I can sing in my own company. Stuck in a moment! Thank you U2 for sharing lyrics and music like you do. I wish I had a moment to shine from misery wish it was just a phase and it too would pass!
Cheers,here’z for tomorrow for the good and the bad times that will also come to pass ,perhaps.
